Episode 3: Tension {Joshua}

INTO THE NOTHING

LEAVE ME AT THE BOTTOM WHERE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

Brendon went down with Joshua. The two of them recklessly tumbled down to the floor. But, Brendon didn’t care. He didn’t waste a single moment as he used Joshua’s chest as leverage: he pushed up and straddled his roommate down to the floor. As Joshua attempted to get up and fight back, Brendon retaliated by pushing him back down hard. Both of his hands moved to Joshua’s arms as he applied all of his weight to keep him pinned down while allowing his smaller form to tower over him.

“You… can’t… control me,” Brendon retaliated, but his voice was breathless as he fought to catch his breath. His chest heaved and most of the anger had oddly subsided only to be replaced with iron determination. The determination to win.

Underneath him, Joshua’s body was burning. He heat was so shockingly real, as real as the firmness of his body pinned underneath him. In his helplessness, his roommate snapped at him darkly and demanded that he get off of him. When Joshua attempted to push himself up from the floor once more he was met with Brendon pushing him back down.

“No,” He told him simply and continued to press all of his weight down overtop him.

BRENDON & JOSHUA || outfit: Link

INTO THE NOTHING

LEAVE ME AT THE BOTTOM WHERE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

Joshua continued to struggle underneath him, continued to attempt to pick himself up. But, every time he did so Brendon immediately pushed him back down against the floor. However, his body was also heating up. He felt strange with feelings he had never felt before beginning to plague his body. The control, the exertion, the body-to-body contact—all of it made him feel a certain way. He was enjoying it. A part of him was infuriated by that reality. Sadist came to mind for him again. He had never thought of himself in such a way before today—yet he couldn’t deny the… feelings such things evoked within him. He wanted Joshua all to himself. The notion was entirely insane and also terrifying—one he never, ever, wanted to admit.

He had gone crazy…

A loud round of banging sounded on their door—and the disturbance instantly caught both of their attentions. Brendon jerked his head toward the front door, his heart seizing up within his chest, his stomach tightening into a knot, as he thought about someone else seeing them like this. The fact that such a thing was even a problem screamed out to him and caused his heart to pump faster within his chest. What the hell was he even doing if he was ashamed and wanted to hide it!?

“You can’t hold me forever,” Joshua taunted him and when Brendon brought his gaze back down to his roommate he was instantly greeted with his mocking smirk. But, his roommate was right: the fire alarm was shrilling through the dormitory, the students were rushing out of the building, and the dorm room president was checking the rooms to make sure everyone was evacuating the building.

He didn’t want to be seen like this. He didn’t want to be seen the other way around.

“We need to leave the building,” Brendon told him aggressively, his voice somewhat hoarse from his dry throat and harsh breathing.

BRENDON & JOSHUA || outfit: Link

INTO THE NOTHING

LEAVE ME AT THE BOTTOM WHERE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

“I intend to continue this later.” His roommate’s words and his expression told a story of an emotion that lied underneath the depths of their anger and aggression. That emotion, hidden within the tone of his voice and visible within his unyielding expression… cast uncertainty within Brendon. He was not experienced with… physical or sexual… attraction. But that was clearly the emotion lying beneath the depths of Joshua’s intense emerald glare.

Attraction…

Brendon involuntarily shuddered and he could feel the emotion from before beginning to rise to the surface: embarrassment. It… embarrassed him. It was unfamiliar territory—territory he shouldn’t—didn’t—want. They couldn’t go there. He wouldn’t allow Joshua to take control of him in… that way. Brendon’s heart had begun to pound. He could feel the pulse of each pump reverberating through his body.

“W—,” Brendon began but his voice faltered. He dragged in a harsh breath and summoned his nerves and attempted to seal his emotions away. “We won’t be,” He told Joshua firmly, his gaze narrowed and hard. But, with confidence, he began to remove himself from his roommate.

BRENDON & JOSHUA || outfit: Link

INTO THE NOTHING

LEAVE ME AT THE BOTTOM WHERE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

As Brendon began to lift off of Joshua, his infuriating roommate actually propped himself up and immediately jerked his hand forward to grasp onto his arm and bring him right back down against him. Brendon hadn’t expected it—and instantly collapsed back down. As he lifted himself he sent a resentful glare Joshua’s way while his roommate taunted him in return: “Already so careless.”

The emotions and feelings this male… stirred within him were disturbing. He hated the feeling that overcame his body, and it caused Brendon to shove at Joshua’s chest as he once again lifted himself. His warmth was… inviting. And that infuriated him. Lots of things about Joshua infuriated him.

The man from before returned to their room and began to persistently bang against their door. Brendon wondered if they had been the last and only room to not have yet evacuated. Again, however, the thought of there being a fire or perhaps some other sort of hazard… strengthened Brendon’s need to leave the dormitory building.

“Coming!” He snapped toward the door as he stood at his full height. His gaze briefly flickered back to Joshua as he saw that he had stood as well. “Let’s go…,” He mumbled to him, his voice low and a tone of irritation still present.

BRENDON & JOSHUA || outfit: Link

INTO THE NOTHING

LEAVE ME AT THE BOTTOM WHERE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

The two of them silently moved through their dorm room and toward the front. Joshua paused before the door and instructed him to put his shoes on. It was an unnecessary thing for him to command and it… aggravated Brendon further. Still, he crouched down and placed his shoes on only to be surprised when a heavy and thick black jacket was placed down overtop his shoulders.

Brendon immediately paused in order to glance back and up toward his roommate. While silently brooding, he watched as Joshua reached forward to retrieve a lighter jacket of his own. He… He was forming an attachment to this man. He didn’t know how to stop it, as ridiculous as it was. He was… stupidly touched by his damn gesture to give him his coat.

It was large but warm and smelled of him. It was annoying. Brendon stood up and pushed his arms through the sleeves of the coat, fully adorning it. He zipped and then buttoned it up… and felt begrudgingly grateful. Without a word, Brendon reached for the doorknob and opened the door. As he had expected—it was the same senior they had met earlier tonight. The dark haired upperclassmen had ventured a few doors down in order to pound on another students door.

BRENDON & JOSHUA || outfit: Link

INTO THE NOTHING

LEAVE ME AT THE BOTTOM WHERE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

It was the first time that the two of them had actually left their dorm room together. The door to their room strangely almost felt as though it were a gateway into a different world—and Brendon immediately grew tense as they began walking down the corridor and toward the exit at the end of the hall. He and Joshua had never established a way to react around one another… outside of their dorm. It felt bizarre… strange… out of place.

His roommate opened the exit door for him, waiting for him to walk through the doorway. Brendon’s expression hardened. He felt uncomfortable but also trapped, uncertain of how to act or what to do. Stiffly, he stepped forward and through the exit. Joshua followed him and opened the umbrella he had brought in order to shield them from the pouring rain.

Underneath the awning at the entrance of the dormitory, Stephanie happened to be standing at the corner with her cellphone brought up to her ear. She was chatting away with someone else on the other line—but as soon as she spotted Brendon she was instantly greeting him.

“Molly, shut up for a minute will you—,” She huffed into her phone and brought it away from her ear as she instantly turned her full attention to the two of them and gave Brendon a wave. “Brendon! Crazy, isn’t it? Not even ten minutes after unpacking my things the fire alarm goes off? Are you freaking serious?”

BRENDON & JOSHUA || outfit: Link

INTO THE NOTHING

LEAVE ME AT THE BOTTOM WHERE THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

What… the hell? Brendon halted from his progression forward to instead turn his attention toward the sandy haired blond as she eagerly waved to him. His emotions clamped up instantly, swallowed into a black abyss. His amber gaze narrowed while every muscle in his body seemed to tense. He didn’t know how to act. He felt exposed. Vulnerable. An unknown force seemed to tighten around his heart and his gaze faltered from their fellow classmate.

“I swear it’s always the immature freshmen who play pranks like this,” Stephanie went on to complain before she brought her cell back up to her ear and began speaking to her friend again. “Molly, I’m going to have to call you back. I’ll be there shortly. I’m gonna head on over with the boys.”

‘No’ somehow now felt inappropriate. Brendon’s gut twisted in a sickening way as he realized he had somehow gotten into this mess. If he had known helping her out with her suitcases would have given him this much trouble then he would have never of done it.

“Hey, I’m Stephanie,” Stephanie actually stepped forward to introduce herself to Joshua. She held out her hand for a friendly handshake in much the same way she had done for him. “I met Brendon a bit earlier today. Are you two friends?”

BRENDON & JOSHUA || outfit: Link